In a world of wedding magazines, shows, brands, and more, how can you NOT dream of your wedding day? I would lay in bed at night at 15 years old and wonder, “Where is my husband-to-be right now?” I spent hours on Pinterest, picking out the theme I wanted at the time, the dress styles I favored, and what sort of attire my husband would wear. Something I didn’t think about was what marriage really means.
You’re Marrying Their Past, Present, and Future
I certainly didn’t expect to get married before I turned 21. We change a lot as people in the span of a few years but especially when we’re transitioning from high school teenager to adult. (Am I an adult yet? I’m not really sure!) When the moment came where I knew Kaleb was who I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, I had a lot more thinking to do than I was ready for. My parents got divorced when I was a teenager and it heavily impacted my decisions and thoughts about being legally bound to someone for the rest of my life.
When you marry someone, you’re marrying their past, their fears, their hopes, and every possible mental state they could be in. Kaleb has never made me feel ashamed of being afraid of being left behind or growing apart, he assures me and works with me to move past these fears. You have to be ready to commit to comforting your partner 150% even when you’re exhausted and just want to go back to sleep at 2am.
You’re Merging Traditions and Habits
I’ll be honest, I was always very concerned with who my future in-laws would be and what traditions they would carry out. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays to spend with my family and I could never see NOT going home to spend it with them. Fortunately, my husband understands that and loves spending Christmas with them too so I got to check that off my list!
However, my husband also has interesting quirks like eating ketchup on his eggs in the morning, (the smell makes me nauseous like you have no idea), he can’t sleep without the fan on at night (I can’t stand noise when I sleep), I don’t like my car lights to automatically come on (Kaleb doesn’t like being in a dark car). All of these things may seem minor but can begin to add up especially when you’ve been used to doing things your own way for so long. Compromise is so important in any relationship and becomes an even bigger priority when you agree to spend the rest of your lives together.
Putting Each Other First Always
When you get married, you are no longer just an “I,” you become an “us.” When you want to move across the country, it’s no longer only you that is affected. This can even mean when you want to order pizza but your partner wants to go the healthier route and make dinner at home (But pizzaaaaa!). This also means doing all you can to make your spouse happy. It is worth it to put my husband first because when he is happy, I am happy. This doesn’t mean to completely push your own wants and needs aside, it simply means to be there and support one another entirely. You can’t be one foot in and one foot out the door in marriage. You need to truly support and believe in your spouse no matter where it may take you.
Never Giving Up
It can be a little too easy sometimes to give up on things. This can be as simple as getting over some of the quirks your wife or husband has. Can you deal with their constant need to smack chewing gum? Are you prepared to be there if your spouse loses an arm and can’t work? If your love life begins to slip, will you be ready to take whatever steps necessary to mend your relationship? You never know what will be thrown your way in life and it’s so important to be sure you’re willing to take on whatever challenge may come your way to protect your marriage.
Marriage isn’t something to take lightly. It’s so easy to fall into this thinking more about the celebration ahead than what you’re actually celebrating. If you want to throw a big party, throw a big party! Buy a fancy dress, order a huge cake, and give out adorable party favors! You don’t need to get a marriage license to do that. It is so important to know you’re getting married because you want to be with this one person your entire life and not because you want to post #engaged. Planning a wedding is so much fun but what makes it even better is knowing you’re celebrating what the rest of your life will be like with this one person!